The chair is empty this year… but the heart is full
For many of us, special occasions such as Christmas cause us to feel a pang in the heart that comes about from the emptiness and void caused because our person has died.
The chair that is empty this year because our person has died.
The acknowledgment that a loss is a loss. Often a significant one.
And an emptiness is truly an emptiness.
And we need to look after ourselves during this time. And whilst we might shed a tear, talk about our feelings; raise a glass, light a candle or just sit quietly in thought – somehow, most of us manage to get through this emptiness and loss, as we learn to adapt around our person no longer being in our lives.
For some, they are ‘lucky’ enough to have a heart that is full because of memories of happy times and special moments. But for some, they don’t have those memories or moments. So it’s important to acknowledge that whilst grief is a ‘normal part of life’ – that grief can be extremely tough. irrespective of whether your person died today or months or years ago.
And to acknowledge that my grief is my grief and your grief is yours.
Grief – despite some similarities – is what we each experience as an individual. It’s our own personal experience.
Yet grief – in all it’s pain and ugliness – can be one of Life’s greatest teachers.
It definitely is a life changer. Of that there is no doubt.
Our lives are never quite the same.
Ever.
This year, my immediate family and I have not one (my beautiful Mumma), but now two empty seats… with the death of my father (my “Poppasun”) aged 93 years and one month young in May. I know with a heaviness in our hearts that our family will gather as we always do at Christmas time and we will miss Dad ~ Grandpa ~ Don more than these words can possibly tell you. But we will definitely be remembering the legacy both my parents left us all ~ courage, generosity of spirit, “peace and love” (Mum) and “jolly good show” (My Dad)…. Maybe you will think of the legacy your person has left you as well?
So at this time of year – may you find time for you to nurture your soul and look after yourself along the way
And I’m sorry for your loss too x