Australians are big consumers of flame cremations, and for some families they are choosing direct cremations with no ceremony. And in my role as both an End of Life Doula and a Funeral Celebrant, I always encourage the family – and their friends – to have a ceremony in memory of their deceased person, at a time into the future that means something to them. A special date. And it doesn’t have to be straight after the person has died and been cremated.
We need to learn to take a breath after our person dies…. Why do we feel the need to rush?
We don’t need to. Unless there are cultural or religious reasons. But ceremony and rituals are so important to help us in our bereavement. To remember those who were part of our lives…To celebrate the essence of that person…
Both my parents died. Beautiful Mum in 2017 and my awesome Poppasun (Dad) in 2022. And they wanted their ashes combined and scattered into the ocean… no particular date chosen. And their separate urns sat on my front room bookcase shelf until one day I woke up and it was early February 2023…And it just came to me that it would be their 63rd wedding anniversary on the 19th. And 63 has been a number that has held a special place in my family’s heart for years (my childhood home address)…So just like that – I arranged two very private, very beautiful, very calming, simple ceremonies. The first was a ritual, just me as the sun rose the day before their ceremony, by the ocean, gently playing their songs… And my partner sitting in the distance (my soulmate and supporter from afar). And then the next morning, again. But this time a short ceremony with some of the family and one couple (two of their best friends)…a simple ceremony – again as the sun rose. And it was perfectly imperfect… Their music. Their place. The sun rising and tide ebbing outwards. Rose petals following the tide out with a pelican and seagull in the distance…
And it was as beautiful and simple as that….
It’s all about creating memories. Celebrating special people. And continuing bonds of love…
