#deathcafe #virtual #dying #death #endoflifedoula

Where did that year (2023) go! And yes I am still here and still very active on the scene

Compassionate Communities, End of Life Doula, Funeral Celebrant, Licenced Willow EOL Educatorᵀᴹ / 05/01/2024 / , , , ,

It’s true!

You blink and life changes… and before you know it the whole year has gone past since I last blogged!!! 

The year just gone (2023) has been one that has been abSOULutely fulfilling.

As one of Australia’s most active End of Life Doulas, and in my role as an independent Funeral Celebrant, I continue on this life’s journey of learning from spending time with the most interesting people that I have met along the way. Being with the well, the not-so-well, the dying, and those who have died, and their persons ~ family, friends, and carers ~ has touched my heart, mind and soul in a way that is hard to articulate in words.

It is indeed a very humbling, inspiring vocation.

At the end of last year, I spent time with one very, very special woman, on her deathbed. She was in a hospice where the staff were gentle and kind. And the solitary Christmas tree shone brightly and colourfully in the main foyer. A symbol of love and connection despite being the last Christmas for those residing there; and the last one together for the dying persons’ families and friends. The last Christmas for this inspiring lady who I had had the pleasure of knowing for 7 months.

As her End of Life Doula, she held my hand and thanked me for being with her on this ride. And we shared some tears. Kept holding hands. Listened to some of her favourite songs. Just listened… no words…just pure “silence” in amongst Jealous of the Angels and Sunshine on My Shoulders… And we just knew that there were no words that could truly convey the bond of sharing this most intimate of moments that comes with dying , whilst living up until that very last breath. Making sure final funeral plans were discussed. Talking about the letters she had written her grand-children. About relationships of love and healing. About her childhood. About her dreams and wishes. And how much she loved her husband’s singing voice and she hoped that maybe he would sing to her as she was dying. Or at least sing at her funeral or Wake (which he did) x

So it is people like this beautiful woman, and her family, that have entered my life and left their indelible footprints in my heart. This past year has been one of self-discovery and learning. I continue to build my confidence and comfort in this space. Whilst I continue to be humbled by the impact this has on my own life. My personal spiritual growth. My profound gratitude. And the unbelievable life learnings.

It’s hard. Very hard to put in words how the experience of working with the dying, and their families makes you a ‘better person’. It is with the utmost gratitude that I work in this end of life space. That I am humbly part of the transitions that occur at the end of life, and after. And the impact upon me as a person is HUGE. It is grounding. It is enriching.

 

Death Cafe by the Bay…. “informative, intriguing and catalysing”

End of Life Doula / 14/03/2021 /

REMEMBER WE ARE ALL GOING TO BE IMPACTED BY DEATH AND ARE ALL GOING TO DIE SO WHY NOT LEARN TO TALK ABOUT IT IN AN OPEN AND RELAXED WAY… COME JOIN IN ONE OF MY DEATH CAFES…THEY ARE FREE… AND YOU CAN JOIN IN VIRTUALLY FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD! AND NO TWO DEATH CAFES ARE THE SAME!

The impact of COVID-19 has allowed the virtual medium of Zoom and other platforms to connect us with others around the world! Amongst the tragedy that COVID has brought, we also are surrounded by innovation and a connection around the globe like we haven’t experienced before.

My face 2 face Death Cafes have successfully morphed into monthly Zoom catchups with like-minded, curious folk. Having held a Death Cafe by the Bay on 11 March 2021 we had a wonderfully energetic group of people from Australia, America and Europe attend for what one person described as an “informative, intriguing and catalysing” experience.

We shared our experiences about ‘being present’; about the ‘privilege of being in the space with someone who is dying (and sometimes the challenges); the importance of demystifying death and dying and normalising it; how we are curious about Death Cafes and also about things we don’t know i.e. what happens to us before and after death…the paranormal, near death experiences (the positive and less so); some tools we can use and things we can say to engage a person into having these important conversations; about choices, self-responsibility and taking some control and that Australian jokes are…well they are Australian jokes 😊 but a nice fun way to finish the night/morning

We shared lots of information on: Afterlife Discussions (FaceBook and YouTube); Netflix’s “Surviving Death” series; TED Talk “I see dead people: dreams and visions of the dying” Dr Christopher Kerr; a brilliant video by Dr Atul Gawande “Being Mortel”; the little resource “The Little Soul in the Sun“; Suzanne Giesemann’s “The Number One Question About the Afterlife and Reincarnation“; feedback from our American’s audience on COVID-19 and rejoicing when people’s health turns positive: Lisa’s “The Bottom Drawer Book” for advance care planning and funeral planning; how we can each engage and improve our communty’s death literacy; and great resources that help start conversations about dying and death using conversation cards e.g. “What Matters Most” (Dying to Talk) and “Your Life Talks“; body disposal options (Natural Death Advocacy Network), Recompose and Resomation.

If I’ve piqued your interest why not register for a Death Cafe or my monthly Death Cafe by the Bay.

*Note the above links and resources are based on conversations from the 11 March 2021 Death Cafe by the Bay group of attendees and not necessarily endorsed by Jacqui.

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